Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize