so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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