wanna go halves on a baby?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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