I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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