i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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