Apparently you make a good broom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
