Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
