walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
