i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
