Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize