I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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