How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
