You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
