White coat. Heels.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
