So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
