dude i'm inner monologue high
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
