everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize