His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
