Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
