how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
