you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
