that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
