Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize