whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
