Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
