all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
