i can't believe i had my finger in that
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
