How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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