Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
that may or may not have been my penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
