i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
