Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
