So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
