Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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