you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
