im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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