i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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