If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
