Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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