just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
