Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
