How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
