So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
