pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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