She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
