I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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