he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize