It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's blow job season.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
