i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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