so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
