what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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