i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
