Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
