Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
