I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
