Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
