I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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