Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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