I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
